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Puddles of Alligators

by Walter Mitty and His Makeshift Orchestra

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Pink Eye 01:16
And I’ve heard way too much Expendables to call this a good week and I’ve got chronic advertisements in my head and without my poor retainer, how am I supposed to sleep? You don’t understand. You don’t think the way I think. And I owe 6 or 7 people the clever side of me but I felt more real when they thought I was a chump and all my favorite days are lonesome humming simple melodies it’s nice to meet you, I’m pathetic, leave me be Now I’m all dried up of confidence when I’m not 6 shots deep and I’ve been too sober to tell you how I feel But when I told you I had pink eye, I didn’t mean to make you scream I was just looking for a little sympathy.
We ended late last night and on the bike ride home you told me just about everything and it hit me too just as I turned down Tustin home you know? you know you know you know and goddammit we will never burn this bright again I've got this feeling that we're peeling off our layers of friends and oh Crawford I don't think we'll ever feel this brave we used to dig to China, now we're just digging graces and oh I hope we're going places and oh I hope we're going places I need this lovely town to forget me I need this chocolate old fashioned to forget about it I need these dreamy eyes to surrender if only I remember what it takes when we come home christmas break We ended late last night at Oh Those Donuts you told me just about everything and our bikes just watched as we drank our milk real slow you know? you know you know you know and holy shit we'll never drive through old town Orange again we'll never blaze in your garage, I'll never baby sit Ben and we'll give up cause staying in touch is way too hard I'll you you on your birthday you'll send me Christmas cards and oh I hope we both are happy and oh I hope we both are happy I need this lovely town to forget me I need this chocolate old fashioned to forget about it I need these dreamy eyes to surrender if only I remember what it takes when we come home christmas break
My best friend's name is PCH and she hardly ever gives me any problems my boyfriend's name is Morro Bay and he kicks my ass when I go down my veins are filled with THC and it hardly ever gives me any problems I think I finally stopped thinking what you think of me I outgrew all my old hand-me-downs
Funny Faces 00:49
We got a little sentimental smoking six reds on Lido and I could hardly stand to leave such a place kidnapped by four wheels and a four hour drive I parked around the corner let Reptar crack his knuckles tap Noah twice for the safe drive and sanity and all I thought about was the black frame around a picture Jake's mom took in 8th grade
Hazy-eyed I watch the clouds go by you haven't met me yet cause I've been staying indoors away from all closed minds and all the people I pretend to like I've got a best friend to keep my chin up, to keep me floored and I sit so small on the curb watch my whole world change and I'm just sipping on some soda pop and trying to squeeze some flavor out of each face but their just dry and unlike me of all the people here, I've only kissed farm trees and fences but these little birds don't offer much conversation
Mellow 01:41
Oh what a beautiful day to be a jelly fish let the wind control, let the sun sink in got a buck in my hand and a smile on my face I kinda like this place with my hands in my pockets ya I'm feeling alright humming something that sounds like Pennywise I've got some fears that I'm ready to meet but as for now I kinda like my seat on the curb as I watch the whole world fly by everyone complaining of a shitty life but I don't mind the smell of my own shit you see, the world is like a yellow light you can shoot right through or stop at the line but I'm not really feeling yellow I'm kind of feeling more mellow I've got a good friend moving off of my street and a girl on my mind who's really getting to me everyone's telling me who to be telling me to sort out my priorities and you can call me crazy, say I'm running out of time but I've got this funny feeling I'll be fine ya I've got this funny feeling I'll be fine
Suck It Up 01:19
Woody Guthrie light my cig and tell me how you're crazy Woody Guthrie pour me shots and tell me about the crazies it's hard hard hard hard out here Billie Joe sing me songs about how you went crazy Billie Joe pack a bowl and teach me about the crazies its hard hard hard hard out here Mom and dad, pity me, prescribe me something crazy mom and dad, arthritis, next stop it's the crazies it's hard hard hard hard out here Oh dear me, lay it down and sleep away the crazy oh dear me, suck it up, you're not going crazy its not hard, not hard, not so fucking hard out here
Puddles of alligators are napping on my tongue I try my best to entertain them but my best isn't enough so why don't you come over? cause no one else is home I'll show you all my little gators I'm not safe when I'm alone You see they ripped open the Cheerios and threw them all across the floor they make me punch holes in the drywall tell me to always lock my door you see they made me kill the tv they made me hate my little phone they took a knife to all my neighbors so I could finally be alone Oh my puddles of alligators I think they're starting to wake up and I don't know how to amuse them and I don't think I have the guts so please, please can you come over? cause now there's no one left at home just keep me calm til I can tame them I can't handle this alone
She was the poison apple of my eye 5"4 of temptation We made some noise on the dock late at night and I swore it was a one-time situation But now I'm buying her lunch and blowing kisses there's no more fish in the sea, I've got a Mrs. I guess I'm saying goodbye to all the pretty fishes
Well she's on her own now and she can do whatever she choose I'm in the clouds showing symptoms of the Weird Portland Blues I carry on in a sweatpants prom calmly scrubbing the mold Gunna make it better with the right amount of Tuesdays Revelation afternoons to learn the whole world exists only to fuck with my mood I really should no better than to blame the weather at all still I'm complaining saying nothing too important Now I don't know how to act around you but this doesn't feel like it used to, honest lingered on to the front lawn I was never one for making my mind up to tell you Had a heart to heart with a hero realized we have nothing in common except we both drive drowsy often and there's a lot we want to accomplish
Carry me back to the purple palace just let me dine with other strangers all alone no place on earth is open late when it matters carry me to the closest purple lights you know Can you bury me deep at the first signs of sunshine? Repeat my name til it's unrecognizable the words don't know but they're choking us both the words don't know we've turned to stone Next time we talk ive got some sad things to tell you next time you leave I think it might be for good our wick is watered down sweet hearts are soggy now Your love leaves me limp lamenting how we were Oh if only it burned Carry me back to the purple palace just let me dine with other strangers all alone no place on earth is open late when it matters carry me to the closest purple lights you know
Wetter Days 00:59
I've seen beauty take many forms and I've heard death get the call to action and I've heard our troubles keep the spirits warm providing them thrills and they will only talk if we can meditate alone without checking our phones making too short of tombstones I fear this but I really think so the wetter days have come so I sat down in the shower praying that the hot water would last forever and that the wind would blow little truths down my chimney in notes I know that I don't know shit about all the things that I say and I can barely peel the fiction from in front of my face I figure heaven is a living room on a rainy day they offer endless hot chocolates only $1 mochas
Oh I've driven for miles and took every back road through earthquakes and while hurricanes hit us Learned that everything is suffering and everyone's cold can't escape the sad inherent in us But I'm going to where everyone's comfortable with drop menu weather as climate control cause life is better with no surprise I'm off the paradise If my lazy days there make me dumb, I don't care we'll have everything provided for us Darling don't let your stress leave you crippled to death come along, better health's waiting for us Cause I'm going to where everyone smiles a lot genetically altered however you want cause I'd look better with golden eyes I'm off to paradise Oh I've heard of a shot you can take when you're not feeling ultra content with the daydreams you've got but our one saving grace- not a cure, but a place and I long to be saved by whatever it takes So I'm going to where everyone's equally free cause everyone's given the same exact things where no one gets lonely cause friends are assigned I'm off to paradise...


B-sides and rarities from a bygone era. The songs range from 2009 - 2014 (ish) and are arranged in chronological order.


released September 6, 2019

Mastered by James Palko


all rights reserved



Walter Etc. Ventura, California

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