We met up at the bottom of Sanjon
I locked my bike up to a pole
You were waiting where the storm drain meets the sea
I was wearing the Patagucci shirt you got for me
You asked what have I been up to?
More of the same, just without you
But really every creak I hear in bed
I hope it’s you coming up the steps
You rubbed your eyes and said it’s really good to see me
And your tear drop fell onto my knee
I still feel wet there eternally
Said your therapist thinks you might have ADHD
and we both broke out in sobbing laughter at life’s absurdity
And I regret that the whole time, we never took off our sunglasses
I wish we had
I wanna know what your eyes looked like so bad
on that late afternoon Tuesday, I didn’t know what to expect
No, it didn’t hit me til I left
that this was the last time we’d ever talk like this…

You know, we’ll let months pass by with no communication
Maybe cross paths in some accidentally awkward situation
then a year will pass with only cordial happy birthday texts
then you’ll find a serious partner and our relationship will
become the template you measure against
or a fond memory at best
no, it didn’t hit me til I left
that this was the last time we’d ever talk like this

Oh we were just 19 and we fell in love hard and fast
at 22 in Honduras counting on just each other and our backpacks
by 23 we’re moving into our first shared bedroom
and I’m watching you paint the walls baby blue
Retired in the Rose City, too young for the Holy Grail
always going out for brunch and a garage sale
Then our big move back to California, beginning of the end
but I just thought this is what the good life looked like at 27
Restoring an old camping trailer through endless trips to Lowes
or hungover sunny Sundays making you breakfast burritos
or grabbing your hips in the empty aisles of Trader Joes
of course, pushing you into waves at Mondo’s
but no, tonight will be the loneliest of my life
I feel that rotten homesick feeling all the time
the same I’d get in Kindergarten sleepovers at Kris’
but now I can’t just call my mom to come pick me up and fix this
No, it all came pouring in when I left
that this was the last time for a lot of things.

It’d be so much easier to hate you
regret the day I decided to date you
and replace sadness with resentment and booze
But i don’t want to live like that
I’m happy for and proud of you
I think we really lived it up babe
I cherish all that we’ve been through
So thanks for growing up with me these seven or eight years
You were my best friend, I’m gunna miss you.