1. |
Rotting on the Vine
03:01
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Hey there Kait, don’t you think it’s time we move back to California,
and paint a quiet life over everything that’s happened?
You get your dream job and I’ll get the peace
to finally work on myself, whatever that means
in a seedy neighborhood with a view of Anacapa
And everyone’s invited to visit whenever they’d like
stay in the camper by the avocado tree
witness our decadent paradise
two peas madly in love or a psychosis I don’t mind
Rotting on the vine
Let’s get a kitten babe for you to cuddle with while I’m on speaker phone
complaining how Ohio sucks and I’d rather be at home
I’m looking forward to it
I’ve got a plan that will bring the spark back
sell off your grandma’s Nazi china and use the money to sign up for yoga
I wanna relearn how to get you laughing
Now don’t get so defensive
I love you but admit this is getting sad and stale with age
We’re happy for our friend’s success while secretly plotting against them
Now don’t get too excited
I’m sure we will survive this
I’m willing, whatever it takes
I mean it’s hard to miss the signs
Darling for the first time we did nothing for Valentine’s
I fear the dream has gone awry
Failing by design
We’re plotting against ourselves
Insulting the divine
Rotting on the vine
Rotting on the vine
We’re plotting against ourselves
Insulting the divine
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2. |
White Lies
03:35
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Telling white lies so we can make it to the morning
Telling white lies until the conflict is avoided
Telling white lies to myself can usually cheer me up
or at least knock some sense in me
Telling white lies to the one you love can keep that love alive
Everyone you love will let you down
And what? You’re just supposed to talk it out?
I’ve forgiven you but there’s permanent damage now
forming fault lines in my psyche
and any random thing can trigger an earthquake
it’s unlikely but it happens all the time
where I tell you that I’m fine
Cause I don’t want to bring it up again and burden you
But I know you know it’s obvious I’m
Telling white lies so we can make it to the morning
Telling white lies until the conflict is avoided
Telling white lies to myself can usually cheer me up
or at least knock some sense in me
Telling white lies to the one you love can keep that love alive
Cause everyone you love will let you down
And I get it
You’ve got a whole new group of friends
and you feel more like yourself when you go out with them
Oh I can hear you now at another new brewery
confessing to each other your salaries
and they ask what your boyfriend does for a living
you try your hardest to explain me
They pick up on your defensive tone
They haven’t met him yet, he’s never home
But he always sounds stressed out when he calls you from the road
but he’s just…
Telling white lies so we can make it to the morning
Telling white lies until the conflict is avoided
Telling white lies to myself can usually cheer me up
or at least knock some sense in me
Telling white lies to the one you love can keep that love alive
Might just save all man-kind
So look me in the eye and do it
Cause everyone you love will let you.
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3. |
Baloo Take Me Home
01:57
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O Baloo take me home
Help me ditch the herd, take me where the people aren’t
drag me on an all night drive north on I-5
to some complacent and boring town in Southern Oregon where the hills stay green
and some nice old lady who believes in god makes me a cup of tea
let’s me stay in a mobile home on her property
where I sit and read outside
retrain my brain to focus on one thing at a time
ya…
O Baloo take me home
Let’s just ditch the tour and drive down to Mexico
no one would care nearly as much as I’d be relieved
to finally be anonymous and alone
Carry me back to Ventucky, far from this show
why do i feel so ashamed doing what I love?
Maybe I’ve grown out of it is all I can think of
I used to care about something
The community that once was my everything is now
ironically, the source of my anxiety somehow
Not bummed I just don’t know how to feel
Cause if this isn’t me well then who am I?
I’ve had this identity for such a long time
I’m a self-sabateur who doesn’t know when to quit
cause I’d be nobody if I didn’t have this.
O Baloo take me home
Let me contemplate this in my own safe space
where I grease up my wheels and recalibrate
Live with a cat and an angel
in a sleepy little beach town where my phone doesn’t work.
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4. |
Burritos Alone
02:12
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Like it or not, this is the life that I chose
While she goes to work, I eat burritos alone
I do the dishes before she gets home
but other than that I’m a worthless stoner
It’s a choice I make to stay in the mirage
Keep crafting my secret EP’s in the garage
Well, fuck the neighbors, I need the perfect tone
She’s off in an hour and I still have some tracking to go
I’m channeling the wall flower vibe
Withered and fading in the background, hell ya
It’s true that I don’t have friends
but none of my hobbies use the buddy system
When she wakes up she looks angelic and blessed
She thinks I’m asleep while I watch her get dressed
She eats kale with her co-workers and laughs at their jokes
I go to lunch too, but I’m eating burritos alone
Eating burritos alone….
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5. |
Fish Won't Eat
01:06
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Please pray for me, my fish won’t eat
she lays on the bottom and just stares at me
I’m less afraid that she will die
than be a representation of my life.
Her water’s warm, her tank is clean
Got two fish and a snail, good company
Couple live plants, pH is right
Doesn’t get scared when there’s fireworks or the train goes by
And all summer I wanted to die
I would tap on her glass, some sort of morse code for
“why are we living like royalty, the charmed life, the dream
but here I’m drawing a noose and you won’t fucking eat?
Talk to me…”
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6. |
Gidget Etc.
02:42
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Gidget’s hiding under the bed again
she doesn’t like it when we fight
she doesn’t understand why mom’s upset
and dad is always leaving for a few weeks at a time
She doesn’t get this is the start of something great
she has no concept of sacrifice
lying on the rug, in a little patch of sun
licking at your fingers
sleeping through the worst of times.
And while she sleeps we have the talk
circling around the fact that we’re both wondering if we’re…
Better off calling this our natural end
allow ourselves the space and time to think through
our lives, our plans
don’t hold back just say the safe word and I will untie you
yeah, yeah, yeah
Ya I know I’m doing that thing again
and of course I know you’re right
I’m spreading myself thin, saying yes to everything
just to panic and then blow up on you one random night
Apologize, make up, grow manic, and repeat
this is what fucking up a fairytale looks like
I’m sensitive and soft
You, stoic shutting off
But I know just what you’re thinking
I know just wha you’re thinking
You’re thinking that we’re…
Better off calling this our natural end
allow ourselves the space and time to think through
our lives, our plans
don’t hold back just say the safe word and I will untie you
yeah, yeah, yeah
Gidget might be the main witness in
the biggest mistake of our lives
or maybe this is love
the hammer to the thumb of building something beautiful
scraping up towards the sky
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7. |
Missile Incoming
03:22
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Woke up to the warning
it read “missile incoming”
I texted some people my love and thanks
then poured all the fish food into the tank
and we crawled back in bed
Kaitlyn and I in clean flannel sheets
pathetically trying to watch Modern Family
I started to cry as I held you tight
Would say it would be alright
but how useless is that?
Turned our attention to our cat purring in our lap
Oh the past is a story we tell ourselves
and the future is a good idea
be here now, be here now
Oh the past is a story we tell ourselves
and the future is a good idea
be here now, be here
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8. |
||||
Darling, the band is going to Japan and you’re invited
I found your missing pearl ring
and our land lord decided
he’s not gunna raise our rent and we’re on a month to month
You got a fat birthday check from your grandma out East
I had a brief sigh with a Great White tangled up in my leash
why? I don’t know
But we went our separate ways citing creative differences
Darling you look like a Sugar Ray song
shining hair wet with reverb and a reason to live
I once promised you I’d finally write a happy song
Well here it is…
“Things are Going Too Good”
and it makes me uncomfortable
things are going too good
Feels like the Big One must be right around the corner
or a terminal illness being served over the counter
or my darkest secret will emerge
or a fat asteroid will hit Earth
things are going too good…
Of course there’s a plethora of thoughts
that I keep to myself because I don’t want to rock the boat
But so what? So what?
Ours was a bond so strong, chemists wonder how it breaks
and ours was a bath so well drawn, old men wonder how it feels to sit in it
and ours was the best part of a cult classic avant garde
in a montage driving with our windows down
singing that chickadee china the chinese chicken song
Who cares if we’re broke and don’t have sex and getting chubby?
We wake up to a view of Anacapa every morning
So what?
Darling our driveway is better than Hawaii
I think our group of friends is bound for history books
and when we get home I will love you with all my five senses
things are going too good
and it makes me uncomfortable
things are going too good
Feels like the Big One must be right around the corner
or a terminal illness being served over the counter
or my darkest secret will emerge
or a nuclear war,
shit.
things are going too good…
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9. |
||||
Oh I bought you a blanket in Mexico
it had baby blue, green, and pink stripes
I was so excited to give it to you
thought it could be a gesture to usher in our new life
Cause darling I don’t want to go on tour anymore
I don’t want to play this game chasing popularity
I wanna get a normal job
settle does in this funny town
I’ve been thinking about marriage for the first time in my life
But when I got home you were immediately
acting weird I could tell you were drunk
said a quick “thanks for the gift”
then stood up for a hug
I still wonder to this day why you were sitting on the rug?
I said “darling this south swell was wonderful
we camped alone at some perfect point break
how was your work trip?
what’s wrong?
I know it’s been a minute since we talked
but really its only been a couple weeks plus some days…”
and after some pressure you cracked
and said you needed a break
ah…
But breaks are for high schoolers afraid of change
or college kids who grow bored and want to find some strange
How long have you planned this?
Just rip off the band-aid
Just go
I dont want to convince someone to be with me
who doesn’t want to be with me
No,
I bought you a blanket in Mexico
it had all the colors I knew you’d love
I was so stoked to give it to you
but now I use it as a pillow
on the nights that I get fucked up
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10. |
Punk With an Ex
03:42
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I rode my bike
to the pier, then downtown
up the Ave, then E Main, back to Midtown.
With one eye out for cars, and one for sketchy massage parlors
it’s been one week since we last talked
Wonder if I should call her?
Caught me in the taqueria reading Peter Pan
I feel less lonely here even if they don’t understand me
when I ask for no cebolla, cause it upsets my stomach
There’s a ghost that haunts my house at dinner
and here I’m hiding from it
Caught me in La Tapatia reading Treasure Island
It hasn’t sunken in yet, but when it does, it will be violent.
But if Jim Hawkins and loyalists can fight off mutineers
Maybe I can get over this in the next 6 or 7 years
Met up with Milk Flud at the Point on a small but offshore day
the sign says “Be Back in 15” which means you never have to pay
and as we’re zipping up our wetsuits he asks, “are you doing ok?”
And I know the response that I should give
“How did our lives end up so good?”
But if you asked me to complain, I’d tell you
there’s one big thing I’m missing…
Baby, you’re not coming home, are you?
Have you been missing me at all? Do you feel sorry for me?
We built a perfect life, so why would you-
Why would you just throw it away like-?
If this was a dark comedy, I’d find it pretty funny
to end up lost and broke on the wrong side of my twenties
Now suddenly I’m shameless and can get myself to rally
I went solo to the fair to see Sublime with Frankie Valli
When I get home I bum a smoke off my Ventucky Neighbors
They feed me a bunch of tequila and tell me who on the block are tweakers
They ask me where my girlfriend’s been and when will i propose?
I shrug and tell them “work trip” and “well, who fucking knows.”
This is my life without her
And yes, there are some benefits
I do a lot more yard work
and I make a lot of artwork
and I randomly now floss more
and I feel like I’m less sensitive
Hey, maybe I’m less sensitive
See, I’m making the best of this
Met up with Ernie at the Dredge on a big and soupy day
in the morning marine layer, water silver, sky was gray
As we rode the rip along the jetty he asked, “Are you doing ok?”
I said, “Jesus. You guys are really worried about me? Aren’t ya?
I’m fine. These things take time. This too shall pass, or, something like that.”
Baby, you’re not coming home, are you?
Have you been missing me at all? Do you feel sorry for me?
We built a perfect life, so why would you-
Why would you just throw it away like-?
If there’s a moral to this story, I 100% missed it
She lives in Santa Barbara now with Yvon Chouinard’s assistant
I thought she was my thrift store girl, and I, her surfer boy
I thought that we were Jim and Pam
but turns out I was Roy.
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11. |
No More Visitors
04:05
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Please, no more visitors for a while
I’m peopled out and broke as hell
and need my beauty sleep
I keep having visions of her ghost on the sofa
she’s watching The Bachelor
humming in the bedroom
changing the duvet cover
What was it that I was trying to say to you
right before you said you needed your space
Maybe if I could remember in a well-written letter
then we’d still be together
You think about it, I’ll wait…
Once a person wants to leave
that’s their truth and I see no point in changing their mind.
Give me 100 years of solitude
a box for the photos
and a lifetime to grieve
and I’ll be find, just…
Please, no more visitors for a while
I’m nursing myself back to health
and slow to process these kinds of things
What was it that I was trying to say to you
when you came to get your stuff from my place
I hope every omen in your life seems to say
“you wanted this”
I stay awake til dawn
in a bed too big, fighting homesick nausea
I pace the neighborhood, dying to remember
that feeling I was trying to explain to you
right before you opted out of our game for two
Was it too much of the real world eroding our youth
that broke our seven year love spell?
You think about it, I’ll wait…
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12. |
Cheer Up, Walter
02:15
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Take me as I am
Neurotic, unravelling, still good for a friend
That's why you should understand if I get tired and slip away
To update the note in my phone of confessionals
secretly hoping that someone reads them
so next time I convulse on the bed, you can take me to
Panic Attack Paradise
where your mother's singing Edelweiss
it's slow jazz on rainy days
stoned painting landscapes
on some giant canvas
indulging every little tangent
of my clean and quiet home
ba ba ba ba ba, ba da da da da da
ba ba ba ba ba, ba da da da da da
Cheer up, Walter, stick to the original plan
create, have fun, and don't get phased by their marketing jargon
don't think too hard about it
just let it pass through
maybe write it down
for more uptight types of people to argue about
assign some arbitrary meaning
some peripheral purpose
like, what if the whole reason for this
was to bring your broken legacy to this forgotten town?
ba ba ba ba ba, ba da da da da da
ba ba ba ba ba, ba da da da da da
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13. |
||||
We met up at the bottom of Sanjon
I locked my bike up to a pole
You were waiting where the storm drain meets the sea
I was wearing the Patagucci shirt you got for me
You asked what have I been up to?
More of the same, just without you
But really every creak I hear in bed
I hope it’s you coming up the steps
You rubbed your eyes and said it’s really good to see me
And your tear drop fell onto my knee
I still feel wet there eternally
Said your therapist thinks you might have ADHD
and we both broke out in sobbing laughter at life’s absurdity
And I regret that the whole time, we never took off our sunglasses
I wish we had
I wanna know what your eyes looked like so bad
on that late afternoon Tuesday, I didn’t know what to expect
No, it didn’t hit me til I left
that this was the last time we’d ever talk like this…
You know, we’ll let months pass by with no communication
Maybe cross paths in some accidentally awkward situation
then a year will pass with only cordial happy birthday texts
then you’ll find a serious partner and our relationship will
become the template you measure against
or a fond memory at best
no, it didn’t hit me til I left
that this was the last time we’d ever talk like this
Oh we were just 19 and we fell in love hard and fast
at 22 in Honduras counting on just each other and our backpacks
by 23 we’re moving into our first shared bedroom
and I’m watching you paint the walls baby blue
Retired in the Rose City, too young for the Holy Grail
always going out for brunch and a garage sale
Then our big move back to California, beginning of the end
but I just thought this is what the good life looked like at 27
Restoring an old camping trailer through endless trips to Lowes
or hungover sunny Sundays making you breakfast burritos
or grabbing your hips in the empty aisles of Trader Joes
of course, pushing you into waves at Mondo’s
but no, tonight will be the loneliest of my life
I feel that rotten homesick feeling all the time
the same I’d get in Kindergarten sleepovers at Kris’
but now I can’t just call my mom to come pick me up and fix this
No, it all came pouring in when I left
that this was the last time for a lot of things.
It’d be so much easier to hate you
regret the day I decided to date you
and replace sadness with resentment and booze
But i don’t want to live like that
I’m happy for and proud of you
I think we really lived it up babe
I cherish all that we’ve been through
So thanks for growing up with me these seven or eight years
You were my best friend, I’m gunna miss you.
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